Enjoy the days leading up to your wedding!


Aren't You Supposed To Enjoy The Days Leading Up To Your Wedding? by Debi BuckleyAre you newly engaged and all of a sudden you notice a huge amount of pressure?


Do you feel like you are already behind in planning your wedding even though you have yet to introduce your soon to be in-laws to each other?


Why is it that the moment after you are engaged expectations and emotions are at their highest?


Well, don’t worry; it is natural to have feelings of anxiousness instead of excitement.






After all, you have dreamt about getting engaged, marrying your best friend and having the wedding of your dreams since you were little.


So the real question is, how do you let go and enjoy the time leading up to your special day?


Aren’t brides having longer engagements these days so they can take things slow and have fun during the process of planning their wedding?


Only they end up constantly worrying over endless wedding planning tasks.


Especially when there are so many things to think about.


You want a perfect and well-planned wedding, however, how do you go about that with budget concerns, the drama between family and friends and other life demands such as work?


Well, if wedding planning is sucking the life out of you, you may want to take a moment to breathe and read the following suggestions to enjoy the days leading up to your wedding.



You don’t have to start planning the minute you get engaged!

You don’t have to start planning the minute you get engaged! by Debi Buckley


That’s right! You just got engaged, do not let yourself feel like you are already behind just because someone asks you when you are getting married or what your wedding theme is going to be.


Let it sink in first.


Take a moment to celebrate that you have chosen to be committed to each other forever before you begin the craziness of planning your wedding.


Spend quality time with your family, friends, each other and yourself. Give your family and friends time to get to know one another as well.


And slow down, you are sure to change your mind several times if you do not know what you want before you start planning every detail.


Spend time looking around and figuring out what you want before making any decisions.



You don’t have to listen to anyone’s opinions except yourselves.

The clearer vision you have for your wedding, the easier decision-making will be for you.


Just know everyone will have an opinion so prepare yourself to answer questions that come up as soon as people learn about your engagement.


Let yourself be okay with not answering questions you don’t know the answers to or even letting yourself have time to figure out what those answers are.


It is okay to say, “We haven’t gotten to that detail yet” or “We are working on those details and will let you know”.


Even when your future mother-in-law is asking what you want her to wear a year before your wedding. Let her know you haven’t decided yet and once you do she will be the first to know so she has ample time to select an appropriate outfit.


Also, don’t let your frustrations or annoyance send you towards divorce before the marriage even begins.


Take a breath, communicate with each other and figure out what is high, medium or low importance to you.


And stop 2nd guessing yourself. Don’t make yourself crazy by continuing to look at new ideas & inspiration once you’ve made a final decision on something (no one likes buyers remorse).


As well, don’t let anyone try to sway your opinion into thinking you need to do this or that.


Instead, ask yourself, are we doing this because we want to or because someone else’s opinion matters more?


Remember, it is your wedding day and all that matters is what your and your future husband want to do.



Don’t create busy work just because you think you need to be doing something.

Don’t let wedding planning consume you.


Sometimes you may feel like you should be doing more or you may have forgotten or overlooked something.


And other times you may be constantly checking your to-do lists, updating what needs to be done or are consistently changing and adding things.


Recognize when you feel this way and ask yourself if you are just creating busy work yourself.


Then, create some free time for yourself and slow down. There is no need to rush or overthink things.


The key is to set your plan in motion and find a balance so you are not too busy stressing out.


Calendar out tasks month-by-month spreading them out over time.


Use apps to help you be more productive and not overcomplicate things.


Have a backup or emergency plan for the things you feel you have no control over such as a tent rental in case of rain.


Where it is at all possible narrow down your searches to 2 or 3 vendors per category and 3 to 5 venues at the most.


Don’t become bogged down with “should’s” and “have to’s” or the pressure of making everyone happy.


You do not want to be on top of the world one second and headed toward a meltdown the next.


Anytime you are feeling stressed take a moment to ask why, take a step back, and refocus your energy on important matters.



Make sure to schedule normal activities as well as wedding planning activities.

Be yourself, don’t change who you are.


Do you normally have a girl’s night out and your future husband has his boy’s night out?


Do you usually get together with friends one night a week?


Then continue to schedule time for those much-needed nights out.


Realize that you are each still the same people you were before getting engaged.


Even though you are committing to a life together you still need your individual time as well.


Create your life together outside of wedding planning by continuing to schedule your “normal” activities and even a few new ones together.


Find new normal routines for the two of you.


Whether it be cooking or canoeing, pick something the two of you can learn or try together.


Maybe go on a bike ride together once a week or if you each go to the gym to workout maybe go together.


Don’t just do new wedding planning tasks and forget about your normal activities.


Schedule wedding planning tasks separately.



Spend time getting to know each other and planning your life together not just the wedding day.

Spend time getting to know each other and planning your life together not just the wedding day by Debi Buckley

Enjoy the spotlight, excitement, and anticipation while you plan for your future together.


While some of the time you will be planning for your wedding, do things to make it creative and fun.


Working together on wedding planning projects is actually a great way to see how well you can work together as a team.


It is a good test of how life will be together once you are married.


Continue to get to know one another as well.


Ask each other the hard questions; take pre-marital counseling, talk with other married couples you know about what to expect with the marriage coming up.


Build up your team of friends and other couples that will support you in your marriage to one another.


Even take some personal time to reflect on the meaning of being engaged and what is to come ahead.


Write down your feelings so you will remember them later; use this as a time to discuss your feelings with your fiancé.


And continue to build on your relationship outside of wedding planning.


Enjoy being in love, holding hands, smiling and dreaming of the next phase of your life together.


Dedicate yourself to each other and the journey, not just the actual wedding day.


Continue date nights where you show each other affection and do not discuss anything wedding related.


Find fun activities to try together, chill out, and savor this time in your lives.



Schedule wedding talk so it doesn’t consume you and everything in your life.

Not to mention the let down you get after the wedding and you wind up not having anything to talk about.


Schedule wedding planning get-togethers regularly to stay on track and allow time to discuss your plans.


If you want additional support, join a bride’s group for wedding talk to discuss things with like-minded brides. Inquire about our private Facebook group for brides to be.


Don’t overdo wedding discussions with each other, family, your friends or coworkers for that matter.


Know your audience, if someone asks about your wedding and they continue talking to you about the details then no biggie.


However, others are just being polite and don’t need to know all the particulars.


In addition, schedule time with each other, family and friends that are free from wedding talk.


You want to avoid post-wedding blues by allowing for no wedding talk time and other fun activities with each other, family and friends as well.



Keep things in perspective!

Let yourself off the hook.


Think about what your end goal is, then, work backward towards that.


That way you don’t constantly try to create perfection in every little detail and you remember why you are doing this in the first place.


Take a breath before you start.


Think about the big picture.


Don’t take everything so seriously!


There are so many options and decisions to make.


Ask yourself: Can we afford it? Is it worth it? Does it make you happy?


Prioritize, get creative and do things differently.


Make your wedding more intimate if you don’t have the budget or choose a venue that doesn’t cost an arm and a leg.


Forget the wedding favors and opt for late night snacks for your guests.


Let go of visions you have that aren’t coming together when reality sets in.


Plan and prepare but be flexible at the same time.


Know that with all the planning and preparation, mishaps will still most likely occur so just roll with it.


Remember it is your life together that is most important, your wedding day is supposed to be a fun celebration of the decision to spend your life with each other.



Things are as simple or complicated as you make them.

Choose to make it simple and it will be.


Simplify and scale back.


After all, have you ever been to a wedding where everything was perfect?


Let’s face it; everyone has different personalities, opinions, cultures, likes and priorities anyways.


To one person specific details might seem great while to another person, they may not even notice them.


And when you think of weddings where you have been the guest, what did you remember?


Flowers? Favors?


Most likely it was how happy the couple looked, their vows, the food and how much fun you had!


Don’t get distracted by sparkly things, overdoing and matters that aren’t important.


And don’t obsess over everything, pick something and move on.


Instead, opt for a full nights sleep.


Or practice meditation to keep relaxed and focused.


Take a break and step back when you need to.


Be present and take care of yourself throughout the process so you don’t make it more complicated than it needs to be.



Get help from others whether in the actual wedding planning process or other tasks such as household duties, etc.

Let others help, especially if they offer it!


If you don’t want to give up control over wedding decisions, then get assistance with other non-wedding tasks i.e. household grocery shopping, cooking, cleaning.


Or with so many decisions to make, pick which ones you care about and let others deal with the ones you don’t.


Make sure you don’t put a question out to everyone to decide, though.


Delegate specific tasks to certain people for help otherwise you will have a never-ending opinion battle.


Do a few things yourself and then delegate the rest of the details to someone else.


Hire a wedding planner for items you don’t want to deal with or for assistance with narrowing down and limiting your decision-making process. Take advantage of my complimentary wedding planning consultation!


Engage your family and friends in DIY wedding projects for added support and some fun time.

Hopefully at least one of these suggestions to enjoy the days leading up to your wedding will help you so you are able to let go a little and actually have some fun throughout the wedding planning process together!


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